Being forceful and advocating for oneself does not imply being impolite. It does not imply being a tyrant or hostile. Standing up for oneself is just believing in the truth of your sentiments and your own value. Each time you do it, you'll feel a bit more daring. You will also be demonstrating respect for others, since no one can deserve your anger or hatred.
The most effective way to stand up for yourself is by being honest with others. If someone has done you harm, inform them otherwise by being clear and direct. Avoid being rude, but don't be afraid to state your needs and desires. Also consider asking for what you want, such as by using "I" statements rather than "You" statements. For example, instead of saying "You shouldn't have done that," say "I felt offended by what you did."
If someone tries to take advantage of you, avoid being duped. Do not let people treat you like a toy or a resource they can use without concern for your feelings. If you know something is wrong, speak up. Do not remain silent if you believe other people are abusing their power over you.
Of course, there are times when standing up for yourself involves taking action. If someone is harassing you, tell them to stop. If someone is invading your space, ask them to leave. If someone is acting inappropriately at work, tell a supervisor about it.
Giving others an honest account of what you need and want, or how you feel, exhibits personal dignity, confidence, and respect for oneself. Learning to gently stand up for yourself can be quite fulfilling, increasing your self-esteem and making others you care about feel respected and heard.
The ability to stand up for yourself is important in life. Without this skill, someone will always take advantage of you, which can lead to a feeling of weakness or insecurity. Sticking up for yourself shows that you are a strong person who knows what you want and how to go after it. It also demonstrates courage because being true to yourself means that you are not afraid to say no to something you don't want to do, even if it is difficult at first.
Here are three ways to stick up for yourself:
1. Be direct but fair. If someone has offended you or taken advantage of you, tell them exactly what you think of their action. However, follow this up with an offer of help or a suggestion on how they could fix the problem. For example, if someone has asked you to do something that makes you feel uncomfortable, tell them exactly why this action makes you feel bad and give them time to change your mind.
2. Don't be a victim. If someone is harassing you or saying hurtful things to you, don't let them get away with it.
If you have trouble standing up for yourself, you're usually out of touch with your own needs and excessively sensitive to those of others. When this occurs, you expose yourself up to being taken advantage of. It's important that you learn how to deal with these feelings so that they don't control your life.
The first thing you need to understand is that it's not your fault that you can't stand up for yourself. It's just a natural part of growing into adulthood. You aren't doing anything wrong; you are simply following the path that was laid out before you.
The reason it's so hard for you to stand up for yourself is because you try to protect other people from being hurt by you. You want nobody to feel bad about themselves because of you. Even though that may not be what you actually want, that is what will always happen.
The more you try to shield others from pain, the more you suffer in return. It's time to stop trying to cover up problems that you know need to be addressed. If you do, someone will continue to walk all over you. It's your duty as a responsible adult to take care of yourself first; otherwise, you won't be able to take care of anyone else.
The first step towards changing this pattern is awareness.