The second of three important categories of personal skills that comprise emotional intelligence is self-regulation, often known as self-management. It also refers to your capacity to control your urges. Self-regulation involves using your thinking processes and mental resources (such as willpower) to override undesirable behaviors or thoughts and replace them with more adaptive alternatives. For example, if you want to eat healthier, you can use your will power to resist eating cookies for dinner. Alternatively, you could decide to bake yourself a healthy dessert instead.
Willpower is only temporary solution for this problem. In order to maintain these new habits, you need to work on your self-regulation skills. For example, if you give in to your cravings instead of fighting them, this will decrease your willpower and make it harder for you to resist eating cookies for dinner the next time you want something sweet.
Research shows that people who have better self-regulation skills tend to make better decisions overall and have stronger personalities. They are less likely to suffer from anxiety and depression. This makes sense because having fewer problems to deal with means more energy left over for rational thinking and feeling emotions constructively.
Self-control and willpower are related concepts but they're not the same thing. Willpower is your ability to do what needs to be done today so that you can enjoy tomorrow.
In its most basic form, it entails managing one's behavior, emotions, and ideas in order to achieve long-term goals. Emotional self-regulation, in more concrete terms, refers to the ability to moderate disruptive emotions and impulses. To put it another way, consider before acting. If you think about it, this is exactly what everyone does when they regulate their own behavior - they try to figure out what they should do next by considering the consequences of their actions.
Self-regulation also involves using one's knowledge about oneself to guide one's behavior. For example, if you want to increase your endurance, you need to know how much sleep you need to be at your best physically. So, you could use this information to set a schedule for yourself that allows time for rest every day.
Finally, self-regulation includes some kind of goal-setting process. You can't effectively control your behavior without first deciding what action to take. So, as part of its teaching program at school, your teacher might ask you what your goals are for the year. You would then respond by listing several possibilities.
Through discussion with your teacher or therapist, you can decide on some goals that will help you move forward with your learning while not being so hard to reach that you will give up before you start.
Thus, emotional self-regulation is basically taking thought-out action to accomplish something.
How to Teach Self-Regulation Skills to Clients
Self-regulation is the capacity to recognize and govern one's own behavior as well as one's reactions to feelings and events in one's environment. It involves the ability to control one's reactions to emotions such as displeasure or enthusiasm. It allows you to relax after experiencing something exhilarating or stressful. Concentrate on a certain job. Self-regulation is needed when trying to accomplish several things at once or if you have trouble concentrating for long periods of time.
Self-regulation is important because it allows us to function properly both individually and as a group. Without self-regulation, someone could not keep their temper in a fight, for example, or maintain attention in school. It also helps us deal with changes in our environment; for example, a child who is overly reactive to his parents' quarrels cannot function well in a family where there are frequent arguments between the members of a household. Self-regulation is necessary for us to interact with others without acting upon our feelings immediately. For example, if you get angry when your friend insults another person, then you must learn how to control yourself before you can resolve your friend's problem.
Self-regulation is also important for our health. If we were always able to control our reactions to stress and anxiety, then those symptoms would leave our body quickly after they cause us pain or discomfort. But that doesn't happen, however, because we don't know how to stop ourselves from reacting physically to something emotionally.