And the simplest way to prove your intelligence, at least to your ego, is to chatter. Speaking in public gives you the confidence to say whatever you want. You are, in fact, omitting all of your sentiments without concern of being offended. At times, speaking from behind is also the safest option. As long as you are not saying anything negative about anyone, there is no reason for someone to get angry with you.
Chattering behind others' backs is used by some people as a means of social control. They will speak badly of someone who is weaker than they are so that the victim will feel ashamed and leave them alone. This is often done by women to men or children to adults.
In business meetings, people sometimes chat away about their concerns with no regard for the other participants. This is especially common when there are more men than women in the room. Men may discuss women's clothing sizes or gossip about colleagues, while women might complain about men's salaries or assertiveness levels.
Talking behind others' backs is also common among friends. Sometimes this flattery is even needed to make a friend feel better about themselves. Friends may even go as far as to slander another friend's character if it means protecting their own reputation.
Finally, talking behind others' backs is useful in certain situations where you want to keep a secret.
People are simply whispering behind your back because you're already ahead of them. Understand the distinction between attention and affection. Ignore those who gossip behind your back; they belong there.
Gossip is a serious matter that can have devastating effects on your career and personal life. It can destroy your reputation if it gets out, causing you to lose your job. Even if you're not fired from your position, you may still be forced to leave your company if the gossip continues.
Even if you don't say anything about someone else's reputation, by listening to their complaints and telling others about them, you are complicit in damaging that person's image. You should know by now not to believe everything you hear!
The most effective way to deal with gossip is simply not listen to it. That might seem like an easy thing to do, but many people find pleasure in telling other people's business. If you avoid talking about gossipy subjects then no one will think anything of you if you don't hear something that interests you.
In fact, shutting out gossip can make you appear cold or uncaring to those who want your attention.
It's unpleasant to have people gossip about you behind your back. Because this type of gossip might be subtle, it can be difficult to identify the source. As a result, confronting the gossipers will almost certainly aggravate the situation. Ignoring them is the best line of action. If you do choose to get involved, stay calm and don't let them know how upset you are.
If you do decide to take action, first find out if they're willing to stop what they're doing. If not, then you have two choices: either report them to someone in a position to handle such situations (for example, your department chair or advisor) or simply ignore them. Avoid getting into arguments or disputes with them because these situations often end up being taken negatively by others.
Confiding in friends or family members about the gossip is also an option but only after trying other means first. They might be able to help resolve the issue without revealing anything confidential, such as the details of your personal life. However, if they repeat what they hear, there's nothing to prevent them from spreading the rumor even further.
This is something individuals do unconsciously when they want to leave a room, which is likely what they were attempting to do if you caught them chatting. Another sign to look for is closed-off body language, which occurs naturally when individuals are frightened, protective, or awkward.
People that indulge in nefarious activity, such as gossiping behind a friend's back, are typically insecure in some manner. If someone you know is gossiping about you behind your back, it typically reflects more on that person's character than it does on yours.
Speaking negatively of others behind their backs is a dangerous habit. It frequently fosters gossip, hearsay, and criticism that we would never say to someone's face. Furthermore, gossip makes us appear awful...
Furthermore, gossiping makes us appear awful. We become the villain even when we're not trying to be one.
Telling people they are doing something wrong is only polite. However, if you want to give them constructive feedback instead, then do so privately. This will help avoid any unpleasant encounters in the future.
For obvious reasons, persons in positions of authority are the most vulnerable to back-channel communication in the workplace. Now that you understand why people are whispering behind your back, we will look at how to manage this discreetly in Part 2 of this chapter.
Please don't take it personally. You can deal with individuals gossiping about you behind your back by realizing that their remarks represent them, not you. You cannot control what others say about you, but you can control how you respond to it. Consider gossip to be something that the other person must accomplish for themselves. It is their problem, not yours.
If you find that this subject matter is really getting you down, then perhaps taking some time away from social media would be a good idea. Social networking sites such as Facebook and Twitter allow people to broadcast information about others behind their backs, which can be extremely hurtful. If you want to stop people from talking about you, it's best not to join the discussion yourself.
It is also important to remember that nobody can control what others think or say about them. No matter what people say about you, you remain responsible for your own actions. Never let negative comments get to you; instead, use them as a motivation to keep improving yourself.