As with any empowerment/self-love work, it is critical to establish appropriate boundaries with folks who deplete our energy, violate our lines, minimize our value, or seek to dominate all parts of our lives—even if they are our parents... It is important to remember that everyone loses ground when we are not receiving support from those who love us. We need to be careful not to deprive ourselves of the company of these precious people by acting like them either.
It is perfectly acceptable to put some space between you and someone who is negatively affecting your life; however, if you decide to change this relationship to one of friendship or love, there is no reason why you can't do so.
The most effective way to distance yourself from a toxic person is by avoiding them. If they see you failing to have their negative effects on you, then they will try even harder to get you back. However, if you maintain your distance, they will eventually give up.
If you want to completely cut off someone out of your life, then do so in the best interest of your own health and happiness. This means no phone calls, emails, or texts asking to come back around. An honest conversation through which each party expresses their needs and desires is the only way to go here.
We enlisted the help of several specialists to advise you on how to deal with controlling and overbearing parents and loosen the links for your own well-being and pleasure.
Individuals setting limits with family members, on the other hand, is completely healthy and appropriate. Limiting or removing contact with a parent is sometimes far less harmful than having them in your life. Parents can cause serious harm to their children by physically abusing them, neglecting them, or sending them inappropriate messages via social media. If you're unable to change your parents' behavior yourselves, it may be best if you remove yourself from their care.
Toxic mothers are just as likely to abuse their sons as they are daughters. Some studies show that girls are actually more likely to be killed by their parents than boys are. This is because men tend to kill themselves too. If your father dies, your mother will usually die within a year. If your mother dies, there's a good chance that you'll survive her, though not all do.
The people most at risk of dying young are those who have abusive parents. If your parents were violent with each other, this shows that they don't know how to deal with conflict properly. They may also use physical violence as a way of controlling you. If this has been done with both your parents, then you should seek help from a counselor who can guide you through some different options.
If you grew up in a toxic home, you may have been expected to parent, punish, or care for your younger siblings. Previously, you had to take on tasks such as preparing meals or performing certain heavy activities before you could do them securely or competently. As if you were a partner or another adult, offer emotional support. Don't expect to be accepted or loved just because you try to help.
Toxic families often have many problems, but lack of self-esteem is one that affects everyone in the house. No one feels good about themselves, so no one has anything positive to say about anyone else. Even though they may not want to admit it, even those who don't have any relationship with their siblings feel inadequate because they think something must be wrong with them if their parents dislike them.
It can be difficult to tell if a family is toxic until you live in it. You might not realize how much your own feelings are affected by the negativity around you until you step away from it for a while. It's also possible to grow out of being toxic, too. If your family stops putting you down and instead starts supporting you, then you should feel better about yourself and stop seeing them as toxic.
The people in your family shouldn't be responsible for your feeling bad about yourself. If they're being toxic, then stop letting them get to you. Change begins with you; only you can move forward into happiness.