Is being defensive a sign of insecurity?

Is being defensive a sign of insecurity?

Defensiveness gives out negative messages. When you engage in it, you risk being perceived as insecure, closed-minded, and too emotional. None of these designations will help you succeed or develop greater relationships. It's critical to be honest with yourself about your reaction to other people's criticism. If you find that you are too sensitive to comments made by others, then try to be more rational. Don't let small things get under your skin. That's when problems start.

What is a defensive response?

External events, as well as emotions of worry, uncertainty, and sensitivity, can all provoke defensive responses, which frequently arise in situations when people feel harshly assessed, controlled, or influenced by others. Common defensive responses include denial, evasion, intellectualization, repression, self-criticism, and sublimation.

The term "defensive response" was coined by psychoanalyst Carl Jung, who noted that humans have a natural tendency to protect themselves from the world around them by creating various mental structures such as beliefs and opinions that serve to shield them from certain facts or feelings.

Defensive behaviors are actions individuals take to avoid thinking about something that makes them feel uncomfortable. These behaviors may help individuals cope with negative thoughts or feelings associated with certain topics in their life. There are two types of defensive behaviors: active and passive. Active defenses are intentional behaviors used to deny, evade, or suppress information about an external event or personal feeling. Passive defenses are unintentional behaviors such as denial or avoidance that occur when someone tries to avoid discomfort by suppressing thoughts and feelings.

People often use defenses to deal with the emotional pain they experience when faced with stressful things such as relationships problems, illness, or loss. However, using defenses also has some drawbacks.

What kind of person is defensive all the time?

"Defensive people are touchy people, unhealed people, or just hypersensitive people," Cindi Sansone-Braff, relationship counselor and psychic medium and author of Why Good People Can't Leave Bad Relationships, tells Bustle. "They have a tendency to take everything personally, to overreact, and to be great drama kings and queens."

The reality is that it may have an impact on all of your interactions with the people in your life as well as the groups with whom you interact. If you frequently respond defensively to others, you may wind up in a divorce or in a relationship that is becoming unhealthier by the day.

Is defensiveness a sign of insecurity?

Defensiveness is usually often the outcome of emotional insecurity and dread. When we are uncomfortable and don't know how to handle our concerns, especially in relationships where there is a lot at risk, we tend to revert to primitive coping techniques like defensiveness to feel better.

The more you are aware of your own defensive patterns, the easier it will be to understand those of others. You can learn to recognize defensiveness in its many forms, from simple excuses to full-blown attacks. Once you understand why someone has taken up defense, you can respond to them with greater awareness and compassion.

For example, if you notice that someone you love is overly concerned about what other people think of them, you could ask them what is going on for them that they find this topic so upsetting. You could also show understanding by not judgmentally pointing out their insecure feelings, but instead saying something like "It must be difficult to hear that people don't trust you" or "I can see how someone who cares about you would feel hurt when you accuse them of things".

You can only free yourself from insecurity if you are willing to look at it closely and address it head-on. Defensiveness serves to hide our fears from others, which makes us feel safer but also less connected to them.

Can a person be defensive all the time?

Though it is difficult to discover an alternative approach, if you are willing to collaborate, it is possible. The only way to know for sure is to try talking with them.

Does defensiveness mean guilt?

As you've discovered, being defensive stems from feelings of embarrassment, hurt, guilt, being attacked, and so on. Responding with further criticism is likely to result in stonewalling or an argument if a person is feeling this way. Instead, demonstrate empathy and care for the other person's circumstances. This will help them feel understood and loved, which will lead them to want to share more about what's going on for them.

What is the opposite of being defensive?

Defensiveness wreaks havoc on relationships from inside. It fosters an environment of dispute and tension, leading to a loss of confidence, alienation, and separation. Openness, the polar opposite of defensiveness, fosters an environment of freedom, progress, respect, and trust. It leads to a growth in knowledge and understanding, as well as greater intimacy and connection with others.

Being open about one's feelings enables us to resolve conflict more effectively. We are not forced to act against our values by agreeing to things we do not want to do. We can always go along to get along. Being open also encourages others to be honest with us. They can tell us what they think without fear of rejection or retribution. Finally, openness allows for better communication between people. Rather than hiding our true thoughts and feelings, we can express them freely. This makes it easier to work out problems together.

Being open about one's self is not easy. It takes courage. But only when we take that first step into the light, can we see our shadows clearly and address them. Only then can we grow into fully-realized individuals.

Is defensive an emotion?

Defensiveness occurs when we attempt to contradict or reject criticism in areas where we are sensitive. This is a means for many of us to protect ourselves emotionally. When we believe we are in danger, our brain goes into "fight or flight" mode, which can result in overpowering feelings such as rage and fear. These same feelings may also be triggered by situations in which we believe others are threatening our way of life, such as when we experience discrimination because of our race, gender, religion, abilities, or any other factor beyond our control.

Defensiveness is often used as a tool for those who want to avoid issues that might cause them pain. For example, if you have a problem with someone calling you names, then avoiding the person would be a way of protecting yourself from feeling hurt.

Defensiveness is also linked to anxiety. For example, if you feel threatened when people point out your flaws, then this could be causing you to feel anxious about your appearance and therefore seeking protection by not listening to their comments.

In addition to these links, research has shown that individuals who score high on measures of defensiveness also report experiencing more physical symptoms when exposed to stressful circumstances. For example, one study conducted at Stanford University found that students who scored higher on a measure of defensiveness reported having stomachaches more often than those who scored lower on the test.

About Article Author

Michael Green

Michael Green is a lifestyle and professional development writer. He loves to write about all sorts of things - from how to talk to kids about their feelings to how to live an intentional life. Michael believes that we are all living our lives to some degree - whether it be poorly or well. It is our job as human beings to take the opportunities that come our way, and to make the most of them.

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