These crucial indicators can assist you in identifying patterns of unreasonable expectations: When things don't go as planned or your routine deviates little, you become agitated and unhappy. There will be many things to critique about yourself and others. You obsess over little details and place a high value on doing things properly. You feel frustrated by imprecise language and poor communication skills.
These indicators are also present when someone else has unrealistic expectations of you: He or she becomes irritated when you don't live up to them. They criticize your every move. They avoid personal relationships with you because they feel hurt by your actions. It is important to note that everyone tests your loyalty from time to time, but only those who are truly important to you would trigger these reactions.
If you find that you are constantly disappointed with yourself or others, consider seeking help from a professional therapist or counselor.
Unmet expectations frequently result in a wide range of negative feelings, including anger, anxiety, disappointment, jealously, aggravation, bitterness, resentment, envy, and insecurity. If you didn't have any expectations, you'd just deal with things as they happened.
Having expectations makes life more fun and interesting. You want your experiences to be good ones - that is, satisfying. If something unexpected happens that changes how you feel about it, that's okay - you can still enjoy yourself even if the situation isn't exactly what you wanted. But if you don't meet someone's expectations of you, then you feel let down and disappointed.
Expectations are useful tools for making decisions. If you expect something to make you happy, then it will. For example, if I expect eating chocolate cake will make me happy, then eating chocolate cake will make me happy. If I don't expect eating chocolate cake to make me happy, then it won't. Knowing what choices will make me happy helps me avoid choices that won't satisfy me.
It's normal to have expectations. Just be sure to only have reasonable expectations - not too high and not too low. If you think everything will be perfect, or worse yet, if you think nothing will be perfect, then you'll never be satisfied with anything or anyone.
The most important thing is to only focus on what you can control.
How can you know if your expectations are too high? Here are three indicators:
Unrealistic expectations presuppose a level of control over a circumstance that we do not have. We are repeatedly dissatisfied since our expectations have not been reached. Thus, unrealistic expectations are the root cause of much disappointment in life.
Regret, grief, sorrow, humiliation, and melancholy result from unmet expectations about the past. Unmet future expectations lead to sadness, anxiety, feelings of inadequacy, frustration, and hopelessness.
The problem comes when your expectations are unrealistic. For example, if you expect to lose weight by following a strict diet and exercise program, then you're going to be disappointed. No matter how hard you try, you can't burn off enough calories to make much difference in one month.
Having expectations makes life more fun. If I knew I couldn't win at chess, it would be less exciting. But since I don't know my opponent's plans, I have to plan ahead and use my imagination to come up with different strategies to beat him at his own game. This makes chess more interesting than if we were playing against someone who was better or worse than me randomly.
Expecting something to be done a certain way will always lead to disappointment. For example, if you ask someone to clean your house, and they promise to do it tomorrow morning, but instead they leave the house this afternoon after being out all day, you should expect them not to clean very well. They promised to do a good job, but since they didn't keep their promise, you shouldn't be surprised if it gets messy.
Often, we build expectations unconsciously, without even realizing it. When our expectations are not met, we experience grief, and we frequently blame something or someone for not living up to our expectations—even if our expectations were unjustified. Expectations that are based on human assumptions might be problematic. For example, if you expect everyone to love you, then you are setting yourself up for disappointment. If you expect the sun to rise every morning, then when it doesn't you should feel disappointed. Or consider expectations that are based on religion or superstition. For example, if you expect to meet a specific person because that person represents your fate, then when they don't you might feel sad or angry.
Expectations help us predict what will happen in the future, which in turn helps us prepare for it. However, they can also cause us pain if they aren't met. So next time you find yourself feeling upset about something someone did or didn't do, ask yourself whether their action was consistent with your expectations of them.
It's time to let go of expectations. This will help us to feel less anxious, stressed, frustrated, angry, depressed, and other unpleasant feelings. We might demand respect from others, but if we base our emotions on whether or not we get what we expected, we set ourselves up for disappointment. It is natural to want things to go our way, but life doesn't work that way. We must learn to be patient with others, while still keeping our needs first.
Our forecasts of how we want things to go may appear innocuous. But not usually. Low expectations, for example, might lead to underachievement or allowing people to influence you. What about unrealistic expectations? They may appear to be role models in a culture obsessed with achievement and ambition. However, if you have high expectations, you may become disappointed when things do not turn out as planned.
The opposite of having low or high expectations is called "being realistic." This means knowing what can be done and should be done and not expecting more than this. It also means not being afraid to admit mistakes have been made or to discuss options with others. In short, it means not being blinded by hope or fear.
Having low or high expectations can be a problem when trying to achieve something significant. If you have high expectations, you may become disappointed when things do not turn out as planned. On the other hand, if you have low expectations, you will not put in the effort necessary to succeed.
It is important to have both low and high expectations, because without them, you will never reach your potential. For example, if you expect nothing from yourself or others, then why would they try hard? Or conversely, if you expect everything of yourself or others, then you will be overwhelmed and unable to function.
Finally, having low or high expectations can be a problem when trying to deal with disappointment.