You'd rather win than give your all. You frequently mope when you don't win a sporting event or a job assignment (instead of being proud of your attempt to do your best). You establish unreasonable objectives for yourself and then beat yourself up when you don't achieve them. When things don't go your way, you blame others. Your confidence is low; therefore, you treat others as you think they want to be treated.
An ego is a part of us that thinks it's important. It's the part that feels qualified to judge what other people should think about themselves. The ego tells us who we are and where we fit in the world. It also tells us which parts of ourselves to shut off so we can get on with living our lives. Without its influence, we would spend all our time wondering what others think about us, worrying about whether we'll be accepted by others, and stressing over mistakes we've made.
Some people may say they don't have an ego but really mean that their sense of self is not attached to their personality or actions. They may even claim to like some of their traits (such as their intelligence or work ethic) even though they dislike others (such as their temper or tendency to worry). An ego is a necessary part of our identity that helps us define who we are and how we relate to others. Even if someone claims not to have one, they still feel pride in what they consider their achievements and importance in their field of interest.
You are continually comparing yourself to those who you believe are better than you (better looking, more intelligent, happier, more wealthy). You are continually comparing yourself to others who you believe are not as excellent as you (less intelligent, lower status). When other individuals succeed, you get envious. When they win awards or get promotions, you want one too. If they are famous, you think about how much better you would have done in their place. These are all signs that you are egotistic.
Ego is your self-esteem or sense of worth. It is the part of you that thinks you're great and doesn't like anyone else telling you otherwise. The more ego you have, the more you will dislike negative comments about yourself. The more insecure you are, the more likely you are to hide your insecurity by hiding your feelings or stuffing them down.
People with high levels of ego feel compelled to prove themselves right by beating out those who are less fortunate. They often believe that their abilities are superior to others, so they try hard to show it. If you don't reach for success, you'll never get it... but if you keep trying, you might just make it!
The most common example of egotism is arrogance. Arrogant people believe that they are better than other people; therefore, they cannot be offended by any remarks about their lack of ability or intelligence.
Your ego has the power to wreck your life by making you feel inadequate. When the ego draws comparisons and determines that others are doing better than ourselves, we may feel inadequate. Basically, whenever you feel inferior to or superior to others, it is an indication of your ego at work.
The more important other people think you are, the more your ego will try to prove them wrong by letting you know how bad you really are. If someone gives you credit for something you didn't do, if they criticize you for something you didn't do, if they express admiration for someone else instead of for you, it is your ego that is responsible. Your ego is the cause of all pain and suffering because it makes us feel inadequate. It makes us feel like what we have isn't enough, so it drives us to want more from life but not be able to get there.
Our egos also make us believe that we're not good enough for others, which is why self-esteem is such a crucial factor in treating our ego problems. If you don't feel good about yourself, you'll always have room for your ego to come along and tell you how bad you are.
So in conclusion, your ego is the source of all pain and suffering because it makes us feel inadequate.
Here are some methods to leave your ego at the door:
Overcoming ego entails shifting one's emphasis from oneself to others. —- Be sympathetic and kind—rather than withdrawing when things don't go your way, consider how you might help others and lead with compassion. Instead of judgment, appreciate the individuality and diversity of others. Ego is what prevents us from embracing other people's points of view.
When you live by this principle, you are following the path of love. Love has no desire or need for recognition; it just is. It gives without expecting anything in return. The more you learn about love, the more you will understand why some people are blessed with having it flow through them like water through a channel. They seem to be filled with a special energy that no matter how successful they are, how rich they become, or how many people love them, they remain empty inside because they refuse to let their ego get in the way of love.
Love is not about self-interest; it's about giving. It's about serving others first before yourself. It's about doing things for others rather than asking others to do things for you.
The ego comes in when you try to hold on to love. If you expect love in return, then you will always be disappointed. No one can or will give you love if you demand it. Only God can give you love, and only you can break its bond by refusing to accept it as punishment or reward.