These crucial indicators can assist you in identifying patterns of unreasonable expectations: When things don't go as planned or your routine deviates little, you become agitated and unhappy. There will be many things to critique about yourself and others. You obsess over little details and place a high value on doing things properly. You feel frustrated by imprecise tools and incompetent staff.
If these signs apply to you, you have unrealistic expectations. It's important to be aware of this tendency because it can get in the way of living a happy life.
The first thing you should do is recognize that you have them. Only then can you take steps to change them. Here are three strategies for changing your mindset:
1. Understand That No One Is Perfect
No matter how skilled or experienced someone is, they make mistakes. This is true even of people who have achieved great success. Everyone has flaws that they hide from the public eye. Recognize that no one is perfect; learn from others' mistakes rather than focus on their shortcomings.
2. Don't Compare Yourself To Others
It's easy to fall into the trap of comparing yourself to others. This habit is harmful because it creates dissatisfaction with what you have now and longing for what others have or will acquire.
Feeling astonished when things really work out is one of the indications. You don't go for what you desire because you believe you'll fail. You are always concerned about what may go wrong in a circumstance. This makes you cautious and reluctant, which prevents you from taking advantage of the situation.
You also think the worst will happen. If something can go wrong, it will. You never believe anything good will come your way. You constantly worry about how things will turn out, which prevents you from having any joy or excitement regarding the future.
You're also skeptical by nature. You doubt others' intentions and like to find flaws in situations before you decide what to do. This means you probably won't take advantage of any opportunity that comes your way.
You also have a pessimistic view of life. No matter how much success you have had in some areas of your life, you still feel like a failure because you believe nothing is truly permanent. Since you haven't found a way to be happy with what you have, you look for ways to be unhappy so you can make some changes.
Unmet expectations frequently result in a wide range of negative feelings, including anger, anxiety, disappointment, jealously, aggravation, bitterness, resentment, envy, and insecurity. If you didn't have any expectations, you'd just deal with things as they happened. But since you do have expectations, you feel let down when they aren't met.
The more important the person, the higher your expectations should be. We expect our children to live up to their responsibilities, to show respect for us, and to learn skills necessary for success in life. Even if they make mistakes, we hope they will learn from them.
If someone or something you love doesn't meet your expectations, you feel disappointed. And because disappointment and fear go hand in hand, expecting the worst case scenario usually leads to feeling anxious when something less than ideal happens.
The more experience you have, the better you get at setting realistic expectations. You learn what to expect from certain people or situations, which helps you avoid being disappointed or angry if those things happen again.
Setting reasonable expectations is essential to having good relationships with others. If you don't set limits, they won't know how to respond to you. Without knowing what to expect, they can't work with you to achieve common goals. Also, without expectations, there would be no contracts - only endless obligations.