Second spouses are disliked by many individuals. Nor the wives of college buddies, not old relatives who can't recall new names but remember spending a lot of money on a nice present the first time, and particularly not the original wife, who considers herself to be the bonafidewife. Second marriages tend to be more difficult than first marriages.
The reasons for this are many. Sometimes second marriages are made in haste, without much thought given to the consequences. Or perhaps one or both parties involved would prefer to forget the first marriage and start fresh. In other cases, it may be that the individual bringing up another family has failed to live up to his/her own expectations, which is understandable considering the number of times most people do it.
It's also possible that the person likes his/her second wife but finds the idea of sharing his/her life with someone else not appealing. Some second spouses may even feel like they deserve better since the previous marriage ended in divorce. Whatever the case may be, there are many individuals out there who dislike their second wife.
In addition to feeling uncomfortable about sharing her husband with another woman, the second wife may also feel unappreciated and sometimes even humiliated. She may be treated differently by her husband or his friends. They may even make jokes about the second marriage behind her back. All of these factors may contribute to making a second spouse unhappy.
There are several examples of second marriages. It's not a cynical view of marriage; rather, it's an honest one. Of course, there are many marriages that survive, where couples live happily ever after—but every marriage is unique. Sometimes things happen in life. Maybe one person changes, or loses interest, and the other feels forced to move on.
The most common reason for why people get married again is because of happiness. They realize that they made a mistake the first time around and want to be with someone else now. Sometimes people find love again, only to lose it once more before finding true love a third time. Whatever the reason, people always seem to be ready and willing to get married again.
Of course, there are also cases where people get divorced and then marry each other. Some celebrities have done this, like Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston, who were married for years before divorcing. Then there's Angelina Jolie and Jon Voight, who got married when she was just sixteen years old and he was forty-four. They had Anglia together for six years before getting divorced.
In conclusion, there are many different reasons why people get married again. But whatever the case may be, it seems like a very common thing to do.
What is not normal is for him to be the second wife. You didn't grow up thinking to yourself, "I can't wait to meet a divorced man!" You've probably always imagined someone who has never been married. That doesn't mean it can't be fantastic. That doesn't mean it won't last.
The woman as second wife idea came from the Bible. King David was told by the prophet Nathan to take another wife so that Israel would have children to continue the human race after he died. This other wife was named Abigail. She was chosen because she was young and beautiful when compared to other women in David's kingdom.
But instead of being grateful to God for giving her such a good husband, she mocked him by saying that since he had given her back her lost husband, why shouldn't she also get paid? She offered to do whatever job she could find in order to make money so she could pay back David. This amazing woman ended up becoming one of his most loyal friends. She helped him win battles and negotiate deals with other countries.
Today this same thing exists between Christian men and their wives. Some husbands feel entitled to another wife because they believe that they are still married to their first wife. They don't realize that if they had been honest with themselves and their first wife about needing space, then she would have understood and supported them.
I never saw myself as a second wife. No one does; no little girl want to grow up and walk down the aisle to "Here Comes the Second Bride, All Dressed in an Ivory Suit." But here I am, married to a man who has already been married. I am the mature lady he married as a mature guy. We live a normal existence. There is no scandal or threat of violence around us so there's nothing to hide.
As far as I can tell, I'm treated exactly like the first wife. My husband loves me and treats me well. He doesn't talk about his first marriage so it must be okay with him that we're together. I've never heard him say anything bad about her even though they were divorced for more than 20 years before we met.
The only thing that's different is that when I have friends over, they always ask about his first marriage. They're curious about what it was like and if she's still alive. Sometimes he tells them some details about both of us growing up together, having same friends, going to school together. He has plenty of time for me but also feels responsible toward her because we lived together for so long. He doesn't talk about her ever complaining about how much money he spends or wants for us to buy this house or take trip somewhere. She's just a part of our history that we don't forget even after all these years.